A few,,,,,,,,,,,
IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK....you spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON...you get three meals a day (free).
AT WORK.....you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it yourself.
IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK.....you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.
IN PRISON...a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.
AT WORK.....you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK.....you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK.....you have to share.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK.....you can not even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.
AT WORK.....you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.
IN PRISON...you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK.....you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
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It has often been suggested that English should
have male and female nouns. Here are a few
candidates for consideration as useful male and
female nouns:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though
it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends
most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the
bathroom in pairs.
PENLIGHT -- male, because it can be turned on very
easily, but isn't very bright.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is
over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go
anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of
course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and
squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting
hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with
its tongue hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes
a while to warm up. Also, because it is an effective
reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed.
Also, because it can wreak havoc when the wrong
buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything
in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines
to pick people up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight
shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much
over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around
and it's good for killing bugs.
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http://webspace.sytes.net/inf/hacked.jpg
Just a joke!
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In pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name. Tylenol is Acetamenaphin, Advil is Ibuprofen, Rogaine is Minoxodil and so on. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, and announced today that they decided on Mycoxafloppin
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and will wait for an answer before going nuts in here.
