Merry Christmas

[Gonzo]

May the holidays be all you hope for.

 

[Noite Escura]

They were. Merry belated Christmas to you all...

 

[HomeLAN]

^^

What he said. Apart from my kid getting all the wrong messages about consumerism from his grandparents, my Christmas was wonderful. I hope the rest of you had as good a time.

 

[Inkara1]

Did they spoil him rotten?

 

[HomeLAN]

Of course they did. They're grandparents, that's their job.

Now it's my job to be an asshole and do damage control. In order to ensure that he stays on the right course, I'm fairly sure I'll have to be a major buzz-kill for a month or so.

Then we'll do it all again next year (or earlier). Does no good to complain. They'll do this shit again for his birthday, no matter what the hell I say.

 

[Inkara1]

When's his birthday?

 

[HomeLAN]

late May....

 

[Inkara1]

So it's within a month of being an even twice a year. A potential downside is that people have sort of recovered from the holiday spending by then and can afford to splurge.

 

[Gonzo]

Then we'll do it all again next year (or earlier). Does no good to complain. They'll do this shit again for his birthday, no matter what the hell I say.

I know the feeling. Grandparents & 7 aunts.

 

[Professur]

Alright, now I gotta ask. What's the issue?

 

[HomeLAN]

The issue is that they're doing things that tend to spoil my kid. I then have to be the heavy and reverse the process, since I don't intend to raise a spoiled child. Yes, that is my job, but yes, this makes it that much harder for awhile.

 

[Professur]

Why do you have to reverse anything? It's one special day. So long as he understands that it's limited to that one day, I don't see where it's a problem. It's not like a diet where a binge one day has to be made up for the rest of the week.

 

[HomeLAN]

That's the lesson we're trying to impart. The expectation that it will continue is the issue. In addition, I'll probably have to quench the expectation of a repeat at his birthday, next Christmas, yada, yada.

 

[Professur]

I'm getting the feeling that we're once again on the same wavelength, but talking different languages. Do you mean that you've trying to get him to not expect next Christmas to be as good as this one? Or to not expect Christmas to be everytime he sees his grandparents?

 

[HomeLAN]

I'm trying to get him to see that gifts are voluntary expressions of affection. They're not required and are not to be expected as a matter of course. That applies even to Christmas day, which is far more about time with family than gift exchanges.

 

[Professur]

Ok, thanks. I wouldn't think that would really require an active intervention.

 

[HomeLAN]

Sometimes, with this kid, it does.

Luckily, he was at least as eager to give gifts as he was to get them. At times, that was all that saved his butt.

 

[Professur]

My biggest trouble is getting the two boys to understand who got what. A railroad similar to yours appeared in my living room christmas morning ... along with two others later on (not matching) and several toolkits. For the most part they're communal property between the two, but every once in a while I hear "It's mine" coming from one of them and he has to be stepped on.

 

[Nixy]

My brother and I were always seriously spoiled on Christmas...it has now turned into us spoiling my mom. My mom got more than either my brother or I this year and the majority of it came from me and my brother. We saw how happy it made our parents to give us the things we really wanted and now we enjoy that same joy by giving my mom the things she wants (even if she doesn't know she wants them before she gets them). I think that if the people giving a kid gifts show how happy they are to make the child happy then that mentality of "Joy comes from giving" indirectly gets instilled

 

[HomeLAN]

As I said, he has that already. He was in tears several times over the past month because his mother and I insisted on waiting until Christmas to open our gifts from him.

Unfortunately, not all his attitudes are so glowingly positive. And his grandparents, all of them being local, well-off, and convinced that the sun rises and sets on him, cater to those less-than-attractive traits, especially at the holidays.