Marriage Age

[Gonzo]

One of the weaknesses on our current state of affairs is the lack of honor. I made a vow to stick with her & I intend to keep it. Look at the number of contracts that aren't lived up to, yet the court finds some benign line in section 68, paragraph 58, sub-section 44 that states some legalese crap & the entire contract becomes null & void...

If you say something, stick by your word-after all it's there really is in this world.

 

[75renegade]

GONZ, I hope ya won't take this as a "personal" attack bro., because obviously, I 'aven't walked in yer shoes, er anyone else's 'ere fer that matter. This is jus' a thread topic that I think all of us 'ave interest in, though our opinions an' experiences be different.

The point ya made above opened a box a cracker-jacks fer me an' now I'm curious what the "suprise" is......If ya feel ya were already "married" while livin' together, why the heck go through with the "formality" of the license, ceremony er whatever. I'm sure ya had other things to put yer time an' money into, so what was the point of that?

 

[Gonzo]

"why not?" is the only answer I have. That, and the fact that she wasn't pregnant yet. We figured before that became an issue & we'd "have to" get married, let's get the legality out of the way. (lack of personal responsibility being a pet peeve of mine & all)

 

[BigDadday]

I think when you are lucky enough to find that one who loves you the age is no big deal. I sought for her till I was 24 and she said she waited until I thought I had caught her and then said yes. Women mine at least.

 

[greenfreak]

Nice to see you BD, how are you doing? We missed ya.

 

[Professur]

I posted this somewhere blue, but it seems to apply pretty well here too.



What is marriage

A marriage is an agreement between two consenting adults to share their life together. To take the other as the most important person. To live, love and cherish that other. In other words, it's a lost concept. Indeed, it seems to be more important to gays than straights today.
Is marriage religious? Not really. It's more personal than that. Religion served as a forum in which marriage took place. To bind the vows more tightly. To make the vows before the entire comunity. But the vows were still between the two people. And they still are today. And the vows were 'till death do us part.' Well, not anymore. Divorce is now one of the biggest legal industries. Does this invalidate marriage? Not at all. It certifies it. That a couple takes their vows seriously makes them one of the most valuable comodities a community can have. Where do you want your kids playing? At the house down the road with the mother who's three kids all have different fathers? Or at the house with the nice couple who've been married for 15 years?

Does marriage exist today? Yes. But in a much diluted form. Divorce has become commonplace. The vows that once were 'till death, are now, 'till I don't feel like it. But should that be allowed to change what marriage should be. Never. The institution of marriage must be kept pure, no matter how society tries to tarnish it.

 

[Gonzo]

Very nicely said. A vow is the same in 2002 as in 1642. Somewhere along the lines personal honor & valiancy have gone by the way-side. "til death do us part" is not to be taken lightly, unless you're a shark swimming in polluted waters.

 

[flavio]

Marriage is a man-made institution that has little meening to me. A committement is important and I think that, as Gonzo said, marriage is just a formality. I don't even see why that changes if there children.

If a couple has a committed relationship and a couple of kids are they any less of a family if they don't have that piece of paper? Of course not.

 

[alex]

minimum, late 20's - early 30's

 

[Gonzo]

It changes with kids because of legal reasoning. Last names, insurance for the family, taxes, etc.

 

[75renegade]

"Is marriage religious? Not really. It's more personal than that. Religion served as a forum in which marriage took place. To bind the vows more tightly."

What is "religion" anyway?? If it means followin' a certain set of "rules" or to conform to specific standards in order to satisfy requirements, heck, I drive a vehicle "religiously" an' brush my teeth "reliously" too, so what?

However, if it refers to spirituality an' submittin' one's self to the One who created us an' first instituted "marriage" back in Genesis 2:24 & 25, then yeah, marriage is "religious".

An "why" did the "vows" NEED to be more tightly bound? Surely wasn't because they were comin' unraveled due to lack of commitment, was it?

In my view, marriage is a "faith" issue. It assumes that we don't approach it as thoughWE 'ave it all figured out. Instead it insists that we approach it in the context of it's original inception. One man, one woman, joined together as "one flesh" by God Himself for the duration of their time upon this Earth. An' fer what it's worth, it's also "symbolic" of the relationship between Christ an' believers.

I think it's an unfortunate thing that we allow "Traditions" to sit in as substitutes for truthful precepts! Instead of teachin' us truth they offer us alternatives which remove original intent an' meaning from our lives an' in exchange, we aquire a new "habit" or social status. Yet we seem so satisfied to continue to pay hommage to things we don't even believe in..........an' for what? The nod of approval from others? A lousy piece of paper that says, "Congrats, yer a part of the married people's club!"? It seems hypocritcal to follow through with such meaningless rituals.

If folks don't even believe in the author of marriage, (God), why the heck try to follow an' institution He designed? Forget about it! Except fer "insurance an' legally protective reasons", why not flush the whole concept down the toilet an' let every man do what is right in his own eyes? At least folks would decrease the stress levels in their lives on earth.

It's no suprise that fewer young people are gettin' married, or that the number of out-of-wedlock births an' domestic disfunction continues to rise.

 

[wine4all]

AMEN!

Gonzo, you said earlier that you did not know why people who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce. I believe the answer lies in the declining morality of our world. If you yourself and your future spouse think it is OK to live together and participate in sexual behaviour which is only sanctified by marriage (according to the Bible), then the odds are that you and/or your spouse probably possess a number of other un-biblical, self gratifying beliefs which could easily lead to divorce down the road. I.E. Adultery, selfishness, lying, self reliance, etc.

I am glad to hear that you and your wife have apparently (thus far) managed to remain committed to one another, but I would suggest that you are the exception rather than the rule. My own former marriage is a textbook case of two people who came together under sinfull circumstances for sinful reasons, lived together, got married, had a child and then divorced.

Now I was baptized when I was @ 12 yrs old and my father is a minister, but I turned my back on all that I knew to be good and true because I believed I was in control of my life. It took the breakup of my marriage... my family to make me realize just how vain and pathetic I really was. In the darkest hour of my life, when I had lost all that I loved, I felt God's presence for the very first time. He had been there all along waiting, patiently, for me to stop focusing on myself, turn my attention back to Him, and ask Him to fill my heart... my life... which was, then, so empty that I wished for death. I accepted the gift of His grace which is so simple that it seems too good to be true, that He (Jesus) was the Son of God who came to this earth to die as a substitute sacrifice for the sins of the world and that all I had to do was believe in Him and ask him to come into my heart and take control of my life. It was nothing short of miraculous, the transformation that then began in me. In the worst time of my life I actually felt joy beyond any that I had ever felt before and peace despite the "storms of life" which were raging around me.

God did not arrange my divorce so that I would return to faith as the prodigal son, but he did take advantage of that "teachable" moment in my life to show me the path to salvation and contentment in this world. If I ever consider marriage again, it will have to be with a woman who loves God more than me. If my X-wife had been that sort of woman, I know that we would still be married today and happily too boot.

My point is that had my wife and I been living for Jesus instead of ourselves, our marriage would have never ended. Even if you don't believe in Jesus or God please recognize that the moral standard you live by has a direct impact on your marriage. Therefore, we should strive to live up to the highest moral standards (which would include not living together or even having sex before marriage among other issues) if we wish to have any hope of lifelong committment.