Marriage Age
- Thread starter Nixy
- Start date
S
s4
Guest
Getting married means more to some people than it does to others. I would never want to unless I was absolutely sure.
Shadowfax
Bla
I would like to marry at the age 26 ~ 28; at that time I hope to have finished college and hope to have a descent job.
When you have those two things done, it's time to think about marriage and kids. No sooner, or otherwise I might end up being unable to give my wife and kids everything they need.
I couldn't live with that idea.
But on the otherhand, maybe I never find the right one, so I don't have to worry about these matters.
When you have those two things done, it's time to think about marriage and kids. No sooner, or otherwise I might end up being unable to give my wife and kids everything they need.
I couldn't live with that idea.
But on the otherhand, maybe I never find the right one, so I don't have to worry about these matters.
75renegade
Official Wine Taster
Nix said:
Since when did "unplanned pregnancy" become a sufficient reason fer two people to commit to spend the rest of their lives together? (no offense, jus' curious)
"Unplanned pregnancy" type marriages are alright, I guess, assumin' that at these young ages, (25 er younger) ya don' t mind buildin' yer house on a foundation of sand. Jus' watch out when the storms of life come darlin'! Most of us git washed away. An' of course it's a most unfortunate thing fer the children who survive!
Been there, done that. She eventually decided she must've missed out on somethin' in her younger days, I guess, 'cause she walked. I was married at age 19, she was pregnant with our oldest at the time, an' after only 4 mos. of "knowin' " each other, we married. I could go on an' on 'bout all a my good intentions or hers, but what's the point? Bottom line, someone finally walked, an' all were left broken in the fall. Jus' another accident statistic.
Do I think 25 or younger is too young to marry? I say it largely depends on maturity of of the individuals involved. But mos' "generally" I think the younger the age, the greater the potential fer someone sayin' to themselves, "I wonder what I'm missin' out on", when times stay difficult fer extended periods in the couples new life together.
That's my two cents. (though I didn't intend to try to author a book 'ere)
Cheers!
75renegade: I wasn't implying that I think that unplanned pregnancy would be a reason to get married (because I don't) but some people may. I just used that as an example, basically I meant if no outside circumstances sped up the plan to get married. I plan to get married to my bf when I'm 25 or 26 but if I got pregnant when I was 23 for example I would get married earlier for the sake of the baby since I will be marrying him eventually anyways. Icertainly didn't intend to imply that unplanned pregnancy alone should be reason to get married.
75renegade
Official Wine Taster
NIX Darlin', no offense intended, an' none taken 'ere!
I was jus' sharin' my thoughts in general, an' I appreciate the topic of this thread ya started!
Keep on postin'!
I was jus' sharin' my thoughts in general, an' I appreciate the topic of this thread ya started!
Keep on postin'!
greenfreak
New Member
Re: Re: Marriage Age
Exactly. If you had to put a number on it though, I would say late 20's. If you are with someone for a while, you have time to create a solid relationship and be more secure that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I would think that would make it easier when you do have children and your focus goes from living for each other to living for the kids.
I'm going to be 30 this year and my boyfriend Rusty is 27 but we're in no rush to tie knot. Not because we have issues with it, we just don't feel we need a paper to make a life committment to each other. We will eventually, when we have the money to do so.
75renegade said:
Exactly. If you had to put a number on it though, I would say late 20's. If you are with someone for a while, you have time to create a solid relationship and be more secure that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I would think that would make it easier when you do have children and your focus goes from living for each other to living for the kids.
I'm going to be 30 this year and my boyfriend Rusty is 27 but we're in no rush to tie knot. Not because we have issues with it, we just don't feel we need a paper to make a life committment to each other. We will eventually, when we have the money to do so.
Yeah, before I felt you didn't necessarily need to know someone for long to know if they were right but I now believe that you need to know someone and be with them for atleast 2 years before you can really tell whether they're the one for you. ALOT of surprises may come after being with the person for a year or so.
greenfreak
New Member
I agree with you Nix-that one year threshold is when the newness is worn off and you notice the bad as well as the good. If you think that's an adjustment to change consider if you move in with someone before marraige... that's certainly a test of your relationship also!
Greefreak: I can only imagine how difficult living together could be at first.
Gonzo: I think it's prolly because some people move intogether but still don't feel any real commitment towards each other, they just live together for the great sex or something I guess
. Then they decided that since they're already living together they may aswell get married (still without the commitment) and it eventually ends up falling apart. Whereas those it do it traditionally more often have the preestablished commitment.
Gonzo: I think it's prolly because some people move intogether but still don't feel any real commitment towards each other, they just live together for the great sex or something I guess
. Then they decided that since they're already living together they may aswell get married (still without the commitment) and it eventually ends up falling apart. Whereas those it do it traditionally more often have the preestablished commitment.
75renegade
Official Wine Taster
Gonzo said:
Though I know only one or two couples who stayed together into their "past mid-life" years after spendin' many previous years livin' together, I generally adhere to the idea that if boundaries aren't respected before ya take the vow, (i.e. if ya can't stay out of the sheets before marriage, etc...), I observe a greater potential for a breakdown in trust once the knot is tied. This assumes the reader 'ere values somethin' I call self-control.
Jus' outta curiosity, are there any guys 'ere who can say he's actually dated a girl who "worth" commitin' to a chaste dating life an' courtship for? (even if she said ya didn't have to......) Did ya stay the course? Are ya still together?
Guess that generation died with "Leave it to Beaver" eh?
I lived with my wife for 6 years before we officially tied the knot. We were friends for 3 or 4 years before that. We have been married 11 years & it shows no sign of weakening. Part of the difference is we got married as a formality, we always figured the committment was there, just not the push to get off our lazy asses. We had a marriage, just no certificate validated by the state.
75renegade
Official Wine Taster
Gonzo said:
I applaude the sucess you guys 'ave, Gonz!
I jus' 'ave a real absense of stories like yers in my little world. I mean, I frequently hear stories, mostly from the hopeful young lady, where she'll say, " we're gonna get married in a few years", but when asked if she got a ring an' a date, she says, " no but we've already talked about that too, we're jus' not sure when". I've seen that spiral go on fer years. (like donkey with carrot on a stick)
It's like, c'mon man, how much security is that to her or the future of that relationship. Like when the "storms" of life come, (i.e. job changes, one's desire to persue college or God forbid, she decides she wants to have children with the man she loves an' desires somethin' that looks a bit more like "commitment" so as to 'ave a greater sense of stability for the family she desires). What good is, "honey we'll get married jus' as soon as we get things worked out", then?
I'm jus' sayin' in this generation present, I don't see or hear many young folk backin' up any solid forms of responsible relational commitment, mostly jus' warm fuzzy, wishful thinkin' an' "we'll see where it goes from 'ere.
If the stats ARE any indication of the reapin' of this kind of thinkin', I'd say the "traditional family" that a few 'ere seem to like to defend is nothin' but reminiscent notion from a bunch a Frilly Well Wishers.
In my humble view, I did not become "husband" when the state of Indiana issued the piece of paper either, but instead, when I stood before God an' about a hundred friends an' family an' made a vow 'til death do us part.
The whole, "we've decided to move in together to see if it can really work" philosophy is already a proven failure in this society! Many of the people I've met in bars 'ave attested to this fact.
It's like, c'mon people, 'ave some fricken backbone!
