How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time

[BigDadday]

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, cuddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, blush, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.








HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME








Show up naked.

 

[tOKSIK]

lol!

BigDadDay... did you do all that to satisfy your wife?

 

[unclehobart]

You forgot 'surrender your credit cards'

 

[Nixy]

I was wondering hwen you'd offer! *snatches Unc's gold card* *runs away to buy lots of clothes for herself and a platinum collar for her dog*

 

[alex]

A Male Driver's Observation:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in
front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to
avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung
his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.
I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does
anything to me in traffic and here's why:


I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway so if you just look at
the 7 lanes I am not in, which means I pass a new car something like every
40 feet per lane.
That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like
36,000 cars I pass every day.
Statistically, half of these are driven by females.

That's 18,000.

In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their
period.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or
unrewarding.

That's 12600.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 3960.

34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 6120.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons
(That's 900)
and this number is increasing.

This means, that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that
has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and
is armed.

Flip one off?

I think not>

 

[Q]

Those were both great!

and I would like to point out one small flaw in pads....even the women that don't have firearms all have one huge weapon, generally weighing between 1 and 2 tons

 

[ris]

missed out 'agree with....'

 

[Gonzo]

all those words when every man knows the way to satisfy a woman is to let her do anything she wants & to agree with it

 

[Fuser Man]

You also forgot "listen". Like we're going to do that anyway.

 

[DarkPrincess]

Some women don't require that much. I require a hug when I need one, and to be treated good. A listening ear is always a good thing too. As long as you treat me good, you will be treated like a King by me.