Allright, here's the deal....

[Shadowfax]

I'm not sure if this appropriate for a forum, but anyways....

#1: There's a girl that I really like
#2: I know she likes me too, but I'm not sure if she really likes me, if you know what I mean
#3: She's celebrating her birthday coming Sunday.

Now, I'm a little...well....insecure about what to do. At some points I'm really positive she really likes me, but sometimes just nothing happens and then I'm a lot less sure.

She knows I like her, but I'm not sure if she knows I kinda love her. I'm not really the kind of guy to just say it to her straight and most of the times I'm too subtle with woman, and then I wait too long and nothing happens and I feel ****ed (that happened twice before).
But I don't want to say or do thing to quickly so she'd feel uncomfortable and that I'd might scare her off.
I'm planning to buy her the CD from 3 Doors Down, which she really likes.
Since she's turning 18, I wanted to buy her 18 red roses, but I'm not really sure if I should do that, or that I should only buy one rose or something.

Any ideas? 'Cause I'm a little confused about what to do at the moment.
Thanks in advance!

 

[patweb]

Just get a big American car with bench seats and a couple of six packs. On the way to the movies, conveniently run out of gas in a secluded area. Then say "Well, it would be a shame to waste all this cold beer".....

Oh, that's the way we do it in the USA.

Here is some advice on the color of roses and their meanings. I think White or Orange would be good to start. Basically, you want to get into a situation where the two of you can be alone to find out what your chances really are. Only you have to want to make something happen and you have to do something to initiate it (uh, I guess you know that already), otherwise it won't happen.


Red: Love, Respect
Light Pink: Admiration, Sympathy
Yellow: Joy, Gladness
Deep Pink: Gratitude, Apreciation
White: Innocence
Orange: Enthusiasm
Red and Yellow Blend: Joviality

 

[Fuser Man]

Walk up to her, slap her on the ass and say
"Hey baby, wanna go back to my place and get jiggy with it?"


Just don't give her the rose on her birthday. If you do, then she may think it's more of a 'birthday gift' than a 'I want you' gift.

Good luck in what ever you do.

 

[Professur]

Here's a real odd ball idea: Tell her how you feel!

Why do people always insist on friggin around like this?

 

[s4]

Tell her how you feel.

Avoid red roses in the beginning. Red roses are not a good way to start. I once did that and looked like a dumbass. It really wasn't my fault completely because the woman at the flower shop was no help at all and only showed me one thing they had. One flower can be as moving as a ton. Buying flowers can be an embarrassing situation for a guy. Don't worry if you get nervous. Everyone does. After you get a little older, embarrassment is the least of yer worries.

Keep one thing in mind: the early bird gets the worm, a stitch in time saves nine, can't judge a book by its' cover, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and survival of the fatest.

 

[Shadowfax]

Professur - She knows I like her, but I'm not sure she knows I love her.
Of course I could just walk up to her and say: "Hey you, I love you, ya know"
I tried that once before, and the girl didn't expect that at all, she kinda freaked out and things turned out really ugly. I have been seriously depressed for over a year because of that. It wasn't until recentely that I could get a grip at myself and get over that. I really don't want to get into that situation again.
Not only because of myself, but also because I don't want to **** thing up with this girl.

BTW, I think I won't give that rose. I'll wait, but try not to wait to long

[edit]
s4 - I'm not afraid of being emberassed at all, I really don't care about things like that. Only thing I'm afraid of is throwing away my chances, either by being too quick or waiting too long. Guess I have a bad instinct when it comes to timing....
[/edit]

 

[Noite Escura]

I wish I had something useful to say to you but I'm not exactly a sucessful one when it comes to talk about relationships. The better I can do then is wish you best of luck

 

[nalani]

I agree with Prof ... take it from a woman who knows ... tell her how you feel .. don't pledge your undying devotion and undying love or anything like that, but tell her how you feel ... too many people let these opportunities pass them by and they just never know .... and if she doesn't feel the same, well then, at least you'll know - I know it sounds like little consolation but it's better than unrequited love, is it not?

Don't let this chance pass you by. Women appreciate a man who can share his feelings, even if they don't return them.

Good luck.

 

[s4]

Shadowfax :

I was joking around a little because I thought you were tense. I don't like to give advice in these matters because I'm not too good at it myself. Since the beginning of time, man has tried to figure out woman and still has not learned anything.

 

[BigDadday]

Getting an OPINION is always taking a chance as we are giving what has worked for us in our lives. The best I can say to you is just be yourself and if your what she's looking for things will work out.

Now on her birthday I wouldn't get her the most expensive thing I could afford but the cd sounds good along with maybe a small yeddy bear that she can prop up on her dresser as a reminder.

The straight approach is very risky as my now wife told me cuz I used it to her when I met her and told her she didn't know it but she was going to marry me. She thought I was a nutcase!

Also something I did do and it really didn't go over was when we were at her place I made her stop at the incinerator and took out my lil black book and threw it in. Years l8r she told me she thought I threw a black but blank book in> Never even thought of it as it had some real good people in it.

 

[Gonzo]

Professur - She knows I like her, but I'm not sure she knows I love her.

That is not possible, yet. You're allowing your emotions to run away with your thinking. Love is a "learned" emotion, time, not hormones regulate it.

Just ask her out to a (whatever is fun to do in the Netherlands in December) and enjoy each others company. If things are good, you'll know, if not-same thing. DO NOT tell her you love her-just have fun. Put your lust in neutral, for now.

 

[krusty]

I agree with Gonz and Prof...Simply ask her out, by all means give her the cd for her birthday, no flowers yet... wait til you know her feelings a bit better.

 

[BigDadday]

Think Gonzo is saying is to let your upper head do the dating and not the lower.

 

[Shadowfax]

Hehehe, I wasn't thinking with my lower head though....I have my emotions perfectely under control

Thing is that I know her for a few years now (without much contact). What I meant was, that I am beginning to fall in love with her, not that I am already in love; a little mishap from my side.

Thanks for all the advice guys. I'm gonna ask her out really soon and am gonna leave the flowers at home. That's all I had to, thanks again.

[edit]
BTW Gonzo, there isn't much fun to do in December in The Netherlands. It's currentely raining dogs and cats and it's cold. Gonna take her to the cinema or something; that's warm and cosy
[/edit]

 

[fury]

Walk up to her and say "Hey, happy birthday, here's a rose, can we ****?"

 

[Spirit]

Originally posted by Professur
Here's a real odd ball idea: Tell her how you feel!

Why do people always insist on friggin around like this?

Shyness and youth, I believe.

You should go with what you had suggested. I think it's a fantastic idea. If you are too shy to tell her how you feel, get her a card that says lots... or better yet, compose one

Good luck, hun' !

 

[flavio]

There's not much background to the story here. So, you've known her for years, how often do you see her?

Do you two do things together a lot already? If not, then what Gonzo and Krusty said is right. Ask her out...get something to eat and go to that movie. Then take her somewhere else the next week.

If you already do stuff like going to movies already, then you're asking how to move from "friend" to "dating" status. That's tricky, I think I would need a couple weeks of careful study to be able to help you with that one. But you must be able to pick up on flirting attempts.

 

[75renegade]

Where I come from , "love" is not a "feelin'", it's a comittment in spite of 'ow ya feel. Fergit 'ow ya feel, fergit the roses, etc. (I'm sure as hell not an expert 'ere), but perhaps, try somethin' radical, like jus' bein' yerself! It's a lot less awkward than tryin' to be 'er "everythin'". Remember what interests 'er, an' if it's truely somethin' that is a "common-ground" interest of yers, ask 'er if she'd like to do, "blah-blah". Fergit 'bout sex, it only trashes yer perspective an' sends a shallow an' temporary message to 'er. It's difficult I know, but try to think with yer "right" head. (I mean, wank a few times the night before y'all go out if ya 'ave to, but if ya really care more 'bout 'er than yerself, put 'er interests before yer own.) Be yerself no matter what! Either she wants the "real" you with all yer good points an' yer F#cked up hang ups or she doesn't, give 'er a FAIR chance to choose. (Who wants to be liked fer somethin' he's not, anyhow?) Good luck bro. !

 

[Shadowfax]

Thanks again for all the input here.
I'm gonna see her Sunday and if the time is right, I think I'm gonna ask her out and let carefully slip trough how I fell about here.
I'm not really the flirting type though....guess I'll have to learn to be more secure in these type of things

I'm just gonna be myself Sunday, and we'll see what happens.

 

[Shadowfax]

Mhhh....went quite smooth actually.
Turns out that she really likes me too and I'm going out with her very soon.

Not too bad I think!

BTW, she really liked the cd