BigDadday
Everday People
1) "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 
2) "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you."
3) "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
4) "Congratulations on your promotion! Take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
5) "I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened, especially since you survived."
6) "Sex with you is like using drugs. Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to admit it."
7) "Just remember... Jesus Loves You- Everyone else thinks you're an asshole!"
8) "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
9) "Congratulations on your new baby! Did you ever find out who the father was?"
10) "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you a lot and think of you often."
11) "Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!
2) "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you."
3) "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
4) "Congratulations on your promotion! Take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
5) "I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened, especially since you survived."
6) "Sex with you is like using drugs. Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to admit it."
7) "Just remember... Jesus Loves You- Everyone else thinks you're an asshole!"
8) "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
9) "Congratulations on your new baby! Did you ever find out who the father was?"
10) "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you a lot and think of you often."
11) "Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!
