Maybe it's just me

fury

Administrator
Staff member
Maybe it's just me, maybe it isn't normal to be upset by something 6 and 7 year olds do. But they just brought me 2 papers that they wrote down "You are mean" all over the papers.

Why would they think of me as mean?

I give them a lot of time playing on my computer. I give them some of my toys (action figures) to play with. I watch over them every night that Mom works (and I fix them dinner and help them with their homework on those nights). I set up the GameCube for them whenever we unhook it to take it over to Dad's, and I set it up for them when we get back. Whenever the ice cream truck rolls around, I scrape up the last bit of change I have which is usually just barely enough to get them a couple of ice cream bars. I don't scream at them, and I don't hit them.

Yet I am mean.

But I'm 16 years old.. maybe someone else who knows the thinking process of 6 and 7 year old minds could help me out here, cause I'm stumped. :confused:

You know, I could refuse to watch them of a night time when mom has to go to work. I could tell Mom that, no, I don't want to be bothered by them, and that she'll just have to hire a babysitter who, for all we know, will scream at them, stick them in chairs the whole time, refuse to let them watch TV or play games, never feed them, or may even hit them. But I don't do that. I play games with them, I fix them whatever they want to eat (even if it's just mayonnaise sandwiches, unless they haven't eaten good all day, then I make them eat something more like hot dogs and ramen noodles). I set them up with Quake 3 on the occasional night and they play, literally for hours on end. And that makes me mean?

Well then, just call me mean, I guess... But I just don't see how it's true.

[quoteurl=http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=mean]<B>mean</B><SUP><FONT SIZE="-1">2</FONT></SUP><BR>
<I>adj.</I> <B>mean·er,</B> <B>mean·est </B><OL><LI><OL TYPE="a"><LI TYPE="a"> Selfish in a petty way; unkind.</LI>
<LI TYPE="a"> Cruel, spiteful, or malicious.</LI>
</OL></LI>
<LI> Ignoble; base: <CITE>a mean motive.</CITE> </LI>
<LI>Miserly; stingy.</LI>
<LI><OL TYPE="a"><LI TYPE="a"> Low in quality or grade; inferior.</LI>
<LI TYPE="a"> Low in value or amount; paltry: <CITE>paid no mean amount for the new shoes.</CITE> </LI>
</OL></LI>
<LI>Common or poor in appearance; shabby: “The rowhouses had been darkened by the rain and looked meaner and grimmer than ever” (Anne Tyler).
</LI>
<LI>Low in social status; of humble origins.</LI>
<LI> Humiliated or ashamed.</LI>
<LI> In poor physical condition; sick or debilitated.</LI>
<LI> Extremely unpleasant or disagreeable: <CITE>The meanest storm in years.</CITE> </LI>
<LI><U><I>Informal.</I></U> Ill-tempered.</LI>
<LI> <U><I>Slang.</I></U> <OL TYPE="a"><LI TYPE="a">Hard to cope with; difficult or troublesome: <CITE>He throws a mean fast ball.</CITE> </LI>
<LI TYPE="a">Excellent; skillful: <CITE>She plays a mean game of bridge.</CITE> </LI>
</OL></LI>
</OL>[/quoteurl]

I don't see any of those definitions fitting me, do you?

Maybe I'm just crazy to let something they say get to me, but I love these guys more than anything else, and what they say matters to me.
 

Gonzo

Infinitesimally Outrageous
Staff member
In all reality they are little kids, no more no less. It's not personal, though it may seem like it. It shouldn't be your job to take care of the little buggers, but that is another topic altogether. They love you more than anything else too, but they are little kids. Nothing makes sense that they do. I'm not making light of it Flurff, but the only person that understands a 7 year old is another 7 year old. Sorry...
 

Stop Laughing

it isn't that funny!
Staff member
Did you ever at any point consider your parents (or older siblings as well if you have any) mean when you were that age fury? It's just a momentary thing, it'll pass. They haven't matured enough to appreciate everything you do for them, so just don't let stuff like that get to you too much. Just try to be nicer to them, not just in your actions, but your words and tone of voice.
 

fury

Administrator
Staff member
I think I didn't think of my parents as mean until I was about 13 or 14 and getting into the teenage rebellion stage.

I'll try not to let them get to me any more, but they already have. Mom just had a talk with them, so I feel better.
 

Q

stepmosnter
Staff member
Fury will be 17 next month (going on 30 :) )

Flurf, you have just fallen for the oldest kid trick in the book.
7yo: let's tell Dennis he's mean. He hates that.
6yo: I don't think he's mean. Do you think he's mean?
7yo: no, but if we make him feel bad, he'll let us stay up later
6yo: oh OK!
...ok, maybe not exactly...but they do know you're a softie flurf and they know how to get to you.
Reverse psycology:You guys think I'm mean? I'll show ya mean. Now you don't need to yell at them or anything, just don't be nice. Don't let them play with your action figures, don't let them use your computer. Don't let them stay up past their bedtime. No extra yum-yums.
They won't like it. Kids don't like it when you're mad at them...but let them figure out they screwed up and come to you. Then explain to them that they hurt your feelings and you do lots of stuff for them you don't have to do, but you do because you love them.
6 and 7 year olds only think in terms of themselves...because they HAVE to. It's what they can grasp. They have limited attention spans.
You'll have them whipped into shape for a day or two or a week, or an hour and they'll come up with a new way to push your buttons. That's how they learn. Explain things to them in the simpelest way you can.
Positve reinforcement for good behavior.
Consequences for bad.
 

gotfrag

New Member
dont call me an asshole or anything but personally, i cant stand any kids between the age of 5-10. They just tick me off without even doing anything. I look at them and go Ick! If any of them called me mean i would be tempted to smack them upside the head (i wouldn't do it of course, im not THAT evil) Maybe it's because when I was that age I remember how stupid it was back then....
 
Don't take it too hard on yourself. I'm pretty positive that didn't say it to hurt you or anything like that.
They're kids, 'nuff said :D
 

dimme

New Member
Fury, I think you are letting them get to you, you are talking it way to personally. I think what Q said is true. Try her advice and I can promise you that they will look at you and appreciate you from that time on. Take it easy flurff, and happy birthday :)
 

fury

Administrator
Staff member
Thanks all

dimmeage: My birthday isn't for about another month :retard:, but thanks anyway :D
 

fury

Administrator
Staff member
Yeah yeah yeah... SL's birthday is the same as my birthday. I almost feel ashamed to say it :retard:

(Just kidding, buddy :D)
 

kuulani

New Member
Maybe they're mad at you 'cause you hump others when you should be paying attention to them ... wait, that didn't come out right :D
 
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