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[QUOTEURL=http://www.theonion.com/onion3505/pope_blesses.html]
VATICAN CITY—Concerned handlers for Pope John Paul II announced Monday that, in recent weeks, the 78-year-old Catholic leader has "just been blessing everything in sight."
The frail pope has been confined to bed ever since his Jan. 28 return from North America after going on a "blessing rampage in which he blessed everything from Nicole Kidman to five men and a camera " said Father Joseph Delbonnel.
"If this keeps up we may have put John Paul in restraints" said papal drool-bib acolyte Thomassini Moretti, a nine-year veteran of Vatican spoon-feedings.
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What a shame.
VATICAN CITY—Concerned handlers for Pope John Paul II announced Monday that, in recent weeks, the 78-year-old Catholic leader has "just been blessing everything in sight."
The frail pope has been confined to bed ever since his Jan. 28 return from North America after going on a "blessing rampage in which he blessed everything from Nicole Kidman to five men and a camera " said Father Joseph Delbonnel.
"If this keeps up we may have put John Paul in restraints" said papal drool-bib acolyte Thomassini Moretti, a nine-year veteran of Vatican spoon-feedings.
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What a shame.
