I hate doing resumes

[Fuser Man]

I'm getting sick of my work and deceided to start looking for a new job. I've been sitting here for the past hour trying to do my resume. I've got my name and address so far. I just hate doing them. Why can't I just call up some place I want to work at and say "hey I'm good at that" and have them hire me. I have an honest face don't I?

 

[Gonzo]

The only thing worse than work is LOOKING for work-screw the resume, you already have a job & they're ALL shi**y

 

[Fuser Man]

I just finished.
Two pages just filled with crap I call "my employment history".

 

[Q]

Fuser, haven't you worked there for quite a long time? How come you want to quit? How can I pick on you without all the pertinent information? Please provide more details!

 

[Fuser Man]

I've been at this job since Feb.1998(second longest job I've ever had). I really like working on printers and the freedom here is great. I wear what ever I want, I can smoke indoors, we get free lunch on Fridays, the money is good, things like that. The problem is the company is going nowhere.

We're not as busy as we use to be. We use to ship out 100-150 orders per week, we're lucky if it's close to 50 now.
The owner is never here. She's always saying how she'll do this and do that to boost sales, but when the time comes she's on here way to the cottage. It's just after 3pm now and she's on her way there. I won't see her til next Tuesday. I just don't feel motivated anymore.

Sure I could help on sales, but I HATE coldcalls. It's just not my thing, I'm not good at it. Plus I have to do everything else in this damn company, I just don'r have time for it.
She owes more money than we make, it's just sad. I'd rather go get a new job now than have to wait until I HAVE to get a new job.

See Gonzo, I CAN type more than one word.

 

[Q]

Hmmm, except for the fact that it sounds like the place is going under, it kinda seems like a dream job. Daaaaaang. Have you considered doing a hostile takeover of Lexmark or HP?? Entertaining, yet productive! That's my suggestion.

 

[Fuser Man]

except for the fact that it sounds like the place is going under, it kinda seems like a dream job. Daaaaaang

It is. It's one of the best jobs I've had. Every Christmas I get a $300 bonus and a kick ass gift. Every month I get $100 gas money which is not taxable.
I love the job, I just don't want to be here when the ship goes down. I'm not a good swimmer.

Have you considered doing a hostile takeover of Lexmark or HP??

We couldn't even afford to play a round of golf with those guys.

 

[DarkPrincess]

Hey, at least you are capable of getting a good job that pays well. I can't even get a server job at the bar. I had ad esk job for a while that wsa really good to me, but I had to quit for fear of getting gunned down outside my building. Long story but it has something to do with the guy that stole the princess mobile.