BigDadday
Everday People
Hell ain't a bad place to be
One day a man died and found himself in hell. He’s crying his eyes
out at his misfortune, and he has his first meeting with a demon. The
demon asked, "Why are you crying?"
The man responded, "Why do you think? I'm in hell!"
"Hell's not a bad place to be," the demon said. "We have a really
good time down here. Do you drink?"
"Yes," the man said, "I enjoy a good bevvy."
"Well, You’ll love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink.
Whiskey, Rum, Guinness, Vodka, Cider and Lager. We drink till we
chuck up and then we drink some more!"
The man cheers up. "That sounds great."
"Are you a smoker?" the demon asked.
"Hey, I like nothing more than a good puff"
"Then you’ll love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over
the world and smoke all day. If you get cancer, it’s no problem. You
can only die once"
"Fantastic!" shouts the man in jubilation
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Well as it happens I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Horses, dogs, fixed odds,
cards, puggies, anything you like. If you go bankrupt, well, you're
dead anyhow, so who cares.
The man is now happy again.
“Do you do drugs?"
The man shakes his head, then said “What the hell, I’ll try anything
once.”
"Then wait until Thursday. Thursday is drugs day. You can do heroin,
Opium, drop acid, snort angel dust, take E’s. You can do all the drug
s you want, you're dead, who cares!"
"Amazing”, the man said, "I didn’t know Hell was such a nice place!"
The demon said, "Are you gay?"
"No." The man replied
"Ooooh, you'll hate Fridays..."
One day a man died and found himself in hell. He’s crying his eyes
out at his misfortune, and he has his first meeting with a demon. The
demon asked, "Why are you crying?"
The man responded, "Why do you think? I'm in hell!"
"Hell's not a bad place to be," the demon said. "We have a really
good time down here. Do you drink?"
"Yes," the man said, "I enjoy a good bevvy."
"Well, You’ll love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink.
Whiskey, Rum, Guinness, Vodka, Cider and Lager. We drink till we
chuck up and then we drink some more!"
The man cheers up. "That sounds great."
"Are you a smoker?" the demon asked.
"Hey, I like nothing more than a good puff"
"Then you’ll love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over
the world and smoke all day. If you get cancer, it’s no problem. You
can only die once"
"Fantastic!" shouts the man in jubilation
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Well as it happens I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Horses, dogs, fixed odds,
cards, puggies, anything you like. If you go bankrupt, well, you're
dead anyhow, so who cares.
The man is now happy again.
“Do you do drugs?"
The man shakes his head, then said “What the hell, I’ll try anything
once.”
"Then wait until Thursday. Thursday is drugs day. You can do heroin,
Opium, drop acid, snort angel dust, take E’s. You can do all the drug
s you want, you're dead, who cares!"
"Amazing”, the man said, "I didn’t know Hell was such a nice place!"
The demon said, "Are you gay?"
"No." The man replied
"Ooooh, you'll hate Fridays..."